shilaholic

Jealousy.
Everyone's gone through it. Everyone's got their fair feel of it.
But i've never gone through it when its related to someone so damn blardy close to me.
Its weird, really it is.

Today's a rough day. Cooked everything by myself.
clean the kitchen by myself and on top of all that, my neck are still stiff from sunday.
I cannot believe fatigue from sunday is still here to stay. and yes i am complaining. haha.

1.	jealous resentment against a rival, a person enjoying success or advantage, etc., or against another's success or advantage itself.

2.	mental uneasiness from suspicion or fear of rivalry, unfaithfulness, etc., as in love or aims.

3.	vigilance in maintaining or guarding something.

4.	a jealous feeling, disposition, state, or mood.

i believe im going through the second one. like seriously??
grr, i wish i was living under another roof.

right, im off to eat. when im down, sometimes i food binge. and its curry and there's biji sago!!!! woohoo. i made.

later lovelies! :D

zomg! SoShy is prettay! she's pretty damn fine yaw.
She reminds me a lil of Fergie ferg. Strong features. :D
If timbo's got her in his new song, i say she's gonna get pretty hot on the charts.

My moon belongs to your sun
Your fire is burning my mind.





ok, i had so many things to say that i didnt know how to start this post.
So im just gonna leave it at that and start with promoting SoShy. Hence, the random post. lol.

goodnight lovelies!

and it was brilliant!
i mean throughout the show, i was looking for that part where it'd made me go, "ahhhh yes, the book is brought to life."
unfortunately so, i only got that at the end. haha. The beginning was good, made me feel hopeful for that above statement in quote cos there were a couple of good decent parts from the book. The climax towards the ending was pretty messed up. Maybe it was Chris's idea to mess with the people's minds. But nonetheless, i enjoyed it! The dialogue wasnt entirely the same which is good and refreshing having read the book a million times. (: Overall, i say Chris did a good job with the most tricky and interesting part of the series even though initially i compared his work to Catherine's. But i know thats not fair after much deliberation. haha. So Good Job Chris! (:

Alright, first up, Selamat Hari Raya to you guys. I cooked for my family this time. Prawn Sambal, Chicken Curry and Sambal Goreng.
haha yes i mastered it! finally! Went out to visit my gran, grandaunt and granduncle (mom and dad's respectively). I saw my grandaunt, but its not a state that i would love to see her in. Somehow, she reminds me of my grandma during her final years with us. But y'know, thats life, you lose people and you gain some along the way. Hearing the takbir yesterday made me reminisce on this past year and how much things have changed in a mere split second and im happy to report that i'm starting to forgive and then its to forgetting.

I've watched so many shows; dramas, movies even advertisements, that has talked to me about letting people in your life know how much they mean to you and to never take anything or anyone for granted. haha at first, i ignored it cos it could be pure conincidence. But after yesterday, hmmm i think im really starting to forgive. Though its only at the beginning stage, im determined to keep this up so to not bear grudges. BUT, this doesnt mean i've forgiven. haha.

ohmy, what have i been blabbering about? i think its my sleep-deprived-state.
haha. oh! i've got pictures. but not full lah so i'll upload when i have everything! :D

right, im off to catch up on my sleep.
check out afiqah's blog. Shoutout to me and the other two bitches.
love you B!

goodnight lovelies. :D

Tmr, New Moon. excited?? oh yes i am!

and have i ever gushed about alex meraz? ooo hotness lah!
oh dont worry, i will show you who. im sure hanan agrees with me!


word.
Yummy DILF!

Alex Meraz and Chaske Spencer.
i think this is before twilight. still hot.

Excuse my french at the second picture. haha.
Come on, he's married with a kid but he is still hot!

yayy! new moon here i come!!! :D

oh how can you not love that??!
oh she's a diva.
Good on you Lady.
Keep it up aight.

Keep it up,bb!
I think he does better than his vampiric roles. dont ya think so?
i love it i love it!
I love it when an actor who is so overwhelmed with the massive fame over just one role steps up to do an entirely different genre.
It further justifies the fact that he is not just some actor who got lucky with one role.

Rob, very impressive. I see many different sides to you. :D

right pictures from dinner later!
now, i wanna sleep cos i feel alot of discomfort down there. haha.
goodnight. :D

So i went to the poly to get myself checked.
I dont like the results at all. ):



but the transport there made it cool. fun yaw!

alright i will update again later, gotta get ready for dinner. (:

later!

I hope they kill each other.
I hope a little part of them dies when they touch.
I hope they get consumed by their diseased relationship, a bacteria that thrives in their sick love.

I sure hope so too. Boy, for once, i agree with this girl. haha. (:






I miss you baby. I hope you be careful at work ya? (:
Dont fall asleep on the ropes. haha. ;)

A few days ago, this friend of mine said to me,
"You have to know that love is e joy of humanity, its e only indicator of it,in fact. Love in all manner, fight for all that matters."
Havent quite sunk in yet, but thanks dear :D

cheers!

“You may not be her first,her last,or her only.
She loved before she may love again.
But if she loves you now,what else matters? She’s not perfect,you aren’t either,and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh,cause you to think twice,and admit to being human and making mistakes,hold onto her and give her the most you can.

She may not be thinking about you every second of the day,but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break,her heart.
So don’t hurt her,don’t change her,don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give.
Smile when she makes you happy,let her know when she makes you mad,and miss her when she’s not there.”

-Bob Marley
I got this off Fadzli's blog and wow. Thats sth. I just love how it was said.
We should all think like that huh?

Speaking of fadzli, met him for smokes and groceries shopping!
haha. was kinda cute. We raced to find fruitylite for his mom. I lost of course, i mean come on its his territory, Woodgrove!
Teh-O for me and Teh Gajah for him at the Al-ameen. Talked abt our experiences doing camps, i mean his. mostly.
It was fun though. simple and nice. i loved it.

Before that, i went for a movie with Sufy Baby!
Paranormal Activity. Haha! i loved it! Some may hate it but i loved it.
Freaking cool show. :D

And I am SO GRATEFUL that Singapore has finally seen that Faizal Isa has zero talent. Kosong!
And Sezairi, I look forward to you being the Singapore Idol. :D

xoxo,
Shila.

hello hello!
Today was a good day.
Its my beloved gf's bdae. and no im not gay.
Happy Birthday B! Hope you like our surprise! :D hehe.
I enjoyed every min of it even though it was short. We had a series of good laughs.
It felt good. I love you girls! You girls are my rock! :D

Speaking of surprises,you wanna know wad i think?
if a boyf goes all the way to make you melt or wtvr it is you call it, that means he has done sth so terribly wrong.
In YOUR case at least.
so honey, if he goes all out to surprise you, HAHA!. (:
just saying.

Im meeting my baby tmr! weehee. moviemoviemovie.
i havent seen one in a long while. and i miss him.
so im excited. :D

okae so update on mom, she took out her tube today. wooopee!
but its still leceh cos once that area swells, we gotta get her to the hosp to drain the water out.
its all good cos now she can stop worrying abt the damn thing ard her underarm.

Fadzli and i had a short catch up thru sms today. We might be meeting up for smokes soon, i hope.
Being sexy on the potty is his thang! haha. I was on the bus ride to tamp when that conversation took place
and it made me feel grateful that God's slotting people into my free times so i can get distracted even though i dont think so much anymore.
Weird, i know. But Im still grateful.
I think it proves that im not trying to be happy. I am happy.
Speaking of which, Dham commented that she loved my top and that i look so much better now with my make up and the clothes i wear as compared to when i was cooped up with Damian. So thank you babe, that proved to me even more that im not trying, i am happy. :D

yipee! goodnight
xoxo.

I wish Menudo was still around to sing this song to me. haha.

Shit my memories with Hanan in the MP lab is coming back to me. haha. Our Menudo days.
Carlos, i still think you're caliante! :D

I have the key to your happiness
So you don't have to settle for less
Just give me the chance to show you
What's it's like to be loved, babe.

yeah hanan, he called me to sing this to me. oh word.

  

  

hahahaha. this was at my aunt's costume shop. My sister and i were looking for an evening wear for my bro in law's DnD.
We found a dreamy perfect dress. She's a hot mama! haha. So while waiting for my aunt to finish processing our purchase, we decided to goof around, like we always do. I think we are hilarious! haha.

So i was up today so early in the morning to follow my mom for her review and blood test.
The cancer centre doctor is soo selenger please!
Anyhoos, my mom's gotta go for a heart scan and blah blah before they determine the next course of action.
I feel like my days with mom are numbered. Just thinking of it makes me tear like crazy. But no, i shant think of the negative. :D

Today i kept feeling that warm embrace i got from Damian on my bdae. The day i found out my mom has cancer.
After getting in the car when he picked me up to bring me out for the night, i just cried and hugged him so tight.
It was so warm and i felt so relieved after that. I kept feeling that today, i dunno why. it was weird. haha.

and no, i aint on talking terms with him. that girl must be overjoyed.

okae! i am sleepy and i miss my honey. ):
he must be sleeping thats why he didnt reply my text.
heh..... nvm im tired anws, goodnight lovelies.

i hope i made some of you smile or laugh with those photos. :D

My heart is in a lockdown. complete lockdown. for a long time.







but i still miss you honey bums! hurry on home k? :D
cant wait to see you again love.

"The thing that men don't realize, when they hit a woman, it's… the face, the broken arm, the black eye, it's going to heal. That's not … the problem. It's the scar inside. You flashback. You … you remember it all the time. It comes back to you whether you like it or not. And it's painful. So I don't think he understood that. They never do."

That was quoted by Rihanna in the second part of her interview with Diane Sawyer about what happened past feb.
Damn girl, you're strong. I take some strength watching the interview. In any given situation, yeah the things happened will past, will be over but its the flashback, they come back to you whether we like it or not. whether we want it or not. And yes, guys will never understand that.

There will never be a good explanation to why things happen in our lives. I guess thats how we learn how to live our lives.
In just a blink of an eye, a car can crash. Like what happened at Yishun Dam just now. We were just parked, lit our ciggs and then BOOM! a car flew in mid-air and flipped landing on its top. The funny thing is, the driver turned on the lights inside once he crashed. hahah. thats funny.

i have pictures of the crash.
i will upload once i get it into my comp.

Cough meds taking over my eyes now, gtg
goodnight lovelies!

no i dont believe you
when you say you dont need me anymore
so dont pretend to
not love me at all.

Like my mom. She is being her own miracle.
Her operation was today. well actually yesterday since its past 12.
I saw her after her op and it hurts so much to see my mom like that.
I held my tears up till now where im in my own space; my room typing it out here on this maybe non-existent virtual space.
Yeah she is fine, she is strong withstanding the pain when her anesthetic ran out. But she is my mom. It still hurts.

Watching her today gave me so much strength.
How inspiring a mother or rather your mother can be to you, you'll never know until you've experienced it for yourself.
I really dunno what i'll do without her. She is one amazing woman. I want to be like her, and this is the first time i've actually said that.

Aunty Cheryl gave me really sweet words today.
There's another amazing woman.
My second mom. (:

This entry is solely for those who are going through tough times.
Dont let up. Be your own miracle. (:

You got it in you
Find it within.

i actually typed a whole chunk of rubbish for the world to see but i backspace-d everything cos its been a while since my last entry and so much has happened. So i am going to start from yesterday.

So yesterday i met a friend of mine who is afraid to be friends with me.
This friend of mine is very afraid to spend time with me.
Cos if im not wrong he or she is concerned with what people has to say esp his/her own partner.
haha ironic? i say its bullshit but hey, this person is still a friend to me. a really good friend that i might or might not keep; depending on how he or she will turn out in the future. :)

Today i followed my family to JB. we had awesome food and an awesome time!
im tired but i had fun. good fun.

Tomorrow is my movie date with my lovely hanan and floorball match date with B!
I dread to see RP people there. haha no offence my RP mates.
I cant wait to do some shopping. some light shopping hanan and i agreed to. i will let you know how light our baggage is tmr. haha.

alrighty, im gonna go off now.

goodnight.

i have things to say to your face
lots of things. but i wont cos you are so not worth my time.

Mr Duke of Hazards met me today. haha.
It was enjoyable. good food as usual. (:
close and sweet as usual too.

so i am at afiqah's place at Jurong now.
going for her trg soon.

i will update later. a proper one. (:
later lovelies!

First up i am immensely proud of Valentino Rossi.
9 time world champion and he rode a hell of a race today!
from 10th position, he went up all the way to third. woohoo. cool shiz.

Secondly, i am just so happy that Man u lost to Liverpool. word!
I still love you Samir. ;)

So yesterday i went shopping with my family. My dad got me a bag. its so cool. purple! :D
And know wad, i got barney bedsheets cos it was TOO CUTE! wad??? i grew up with Barney. ):
haha. but my dad got me that too. how sweet!

Arsenal vs West Ham is on now. and Van Persie is may-jahly hot!
He scored so all the more hotness to you sweetie!
GO WENGER!

ok im gonna concentrate on the match now.

goodnight! :D

and to you, if you're snooping around my blog just fuck off.
and my facebook. dont make it personal when it was never the case. let it go.

ZOMG FREAKY FREAKY VOICES!
I MUST SAY THEY GOT GOOD ACTORS PORTRAYING THE VOLTURI LEADERS!
IM SO PSYCHED AND FREAKED OUT ALL AT THE SAME TIME! WATCH PLEASE!

OH ROB! HOW DIVINE ARE YOU! :D
PLEASE COME OUT AND SAY YOU ARE NOT WITH K-STEW.
IF YOU ARE, PLEASE GET OUT, NOW!

oh and credits to perezhilton. :D